Uniform dissent

From time to time I have rainbow coloured hair. Not rainbow like a clown, more like a swirl of colours through the otherwise brown and grey. I don't wear it to gain attention, I don't think it's particularly 'out there' though I do realise I'm bound to get some attention, sometimes.

Today I was at a cafe where another patron had a hot pink mohawk - but guess whose hair attracted more attention?

I couldn't work out why, but I think it may be because the chap with the mohawk had a leather jacket, a trendy pair of stovepipe jeans, boots and some piercings. His individuality was expressed in a fairly standard punk-ish sub-culture way. He was uniform in his dissent.

I am guessing that for some people, an otherwise regular middle-aged lady with rainbow coloured hair is an unexpected juxtaposition. It's not a known variation or subculture. Neither fish, flesh, fowl nor good red herring! Just a bit eccentric.

It seems most of us wear a uniform, even to assert our individuality.

This is post 13 of 365 posts in 365 days.

Are your loved ones pieces of you?

Watching parents with their children is always interesting, but it recently prompted an 'ah hah' moment. The degree of embarrassment or distress a parent feels at their child's behaviour is an indicator of the degree the parent believes the child is a piece of themself. The old saying is, 'a chip off the old block'.

A toddler who throws a paddy in the middle of the bank is always going to leave a parent feeling some frustration and exposure. If the parent instinctively accepts the toddler as their own person, a completely separate - if currently dependent - entity, then the parent feels the annoyance or anxiety of the situation alone. Sure if some people 'tut tut' it's aggravating, but it's the kid who's having the paddy, and the kid is toddler, and stuff happens. If the parent views the child as an extension of themself, then the child's behaviour reflects on the parent to such an extent that, for all practical purposes, the child IS the parent.

It's a cliche that teenagers go through this in spades when they find their parents so horribly, horribly embarrassing: they're not embarrassing because they're parents, they're embarrassing because they're MY parents. [You may prefer to substitute your relationship of choice here.]

Husbands and wives do it all the time too. A social faux-pas is not just a faux-pas by your partner, it somehow reflects poorly on YOU as well. This is encouraged by the common human behaviour of manipulation, whereby person X wants something from Y so they ask Y's life partner for advice/help/permission/emotional blackmail.

If you catch yourself being mortified or made angry by the behaviour of someone around you (friend, colleague, family member, etc.) remind yourself that their behaviour is their behaviour alone. See if that helps you be less overwhelmed by the sticky social situation which ensues. Our loved ones are not pieces of us, they are themselves first and foremost, and our child/parent/lover/colleague/boss/etc second.

This is post 12 of 365 posts in 365 days.

Stickability & Stopability

I've been struggling with my knitting. I chose an Aran-style jumper (sweater) with some fancy cables I ha en't done before. I practiced each pattern a bit so I understood what to do, and then launched.

Six times I cast on, knitted about 10-12 rows with frocious attention, got lost, pulled it out, started again. I had to pull it out because A) I couldn't find where I'd gone astray, and B) the smocked cables were confusing once undone so I couldn't work out where I was to start knitting up again.

That would be the stickability part.

Disaster struck on take 4 as well. It took the combined efforts of a very talented peer group to work out what had happened - I'd lost 2 stitches at some point, but even they could not be sure where it had happened or how!

On attempt 7 I decided to simplify the pattern, using an easier and more familiar combination of rib and cables.

That's the stopability.

Progress is now occurring and although its not the jumper I set out to knit, it is attractive and has some hope of being completed in the forseeable future.

There is no magic formula for which trait should be best applied I a given situation. I'm proud I gave it my best shot, but I acknowledge that at this point the original pattern is beyond my ability and not just beyond my comfort zone. The purpose of the exercise is congenial employment for my hands with a garment at the end of it.

So if you're about to give up on something "too hard" ask yourself if you should give it another go and what information or skill you need to ensure success. If you're about to keep pursuing a goal To the point of obsession, ask yourself if persistence serves the wider outcome you're after and whether the effort and the uncertain conclusion are worth it.

This is post 11 of 365 posts in 365 days.
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