Choosing between competence and compliance

Sometimes, we're asked to do something we think is wrong. Not wrong in a moral or ethical sense, just wrong in being ineffective or even counterproductive.  What do we do?

There are two ways of being a good employee. One requires us to do what is asked, without complaint or argument. The other requires us to question, to critique, to speak up. The second way won't always make us popular. The first way won't always save us from blame.

Which path we choose, whether in a single instance or as a repeated pattern throughout our life, may tell us a lot about who we are, and what our values are. Do we value consensus and cooperation more than personal integrity or outcome? Do we put our sense of accomplishment and worth above the needs of the situation? Do we simply ask, 'how high?' when we are asked to jump? Are we being provocative or simply being a pain in the bum? Are we right, or righteous? Are we wrong, but well-meaning?

Does it make a difference if we feel that doing the 'right' thing is likely to be a wrong move career-wise?

Bite size chunks of time

A lot can be achieved in a small chunk of time. If you concentrate and don't try to multi-task.

Add a few small chunks together and we have a big chunk of time.

Don't believe me? The average person spends 100,000 minutes during their life just brushing their teeth. That's 1,666.67 hours, or 69.44 days. (It was on wikianswers, so it must be true.) What do we achieve in that time? We avoid bad breath and minimise tooth decay and gum disease. Mostly, its just a 'set and forget' habit.

In the rush and hurry of modern life, it's easy to lose track of this truth. How long does it take to properly hug your partner or your child, and tell them you love them? How long does it take to write a card or an email? How long does it take to do a few bicep curls or push ups or crunches? Yes, it can take time to do a full 30-60 minute gym workout, but surely it does some good if you at least do one exercise per day. It has to benefit you more than doing nothing.

In five minutes you can play (or practice) a tune on an instrument, really listen to a song on a CD or iPod, read a few pages of a book, look up a query online, make an appointment, do a short meditation, tidy a bench, put on a load of washing, change the sheets on a bed, pull a few weeds in a garden, water some plants, write a short poem, ... the list is endless.

Each day, we need to do something that serves our widest vision of a good life. With 365 days per year, and - hopefully! - a lot of years ahead, that could add up to sizeable chunk of time that we've consciously spent on making our vision a reality.

This is post 79 of 100 posts in 100 days.

Value in Tough Times

Some - if not most - of us are thinking of tightening our belts.  A bit of voluntary simplicity never hurt anyone.  (It is more painful if it's involuntary!)  Looking at my own discretionary spend got me thinking.

How I spend my money in tough times is - or should be - a reflection of what I value.  While I want to cut the unnecessary, it is easy to cut important things in the interest of reducing expenses.  If you're looking to reduce your household spend by x dollars, it is simpler to look for a single item of the same amount, rather than reflect on what is important to you.  It seems less painful in that moment to cut one thing, rather than reduce several.

It's easy to class anything that doesn't keep a roof over our head as an "extra".  It is easy to class anything we do for ourself - rather than for our kids, parents or partner - as expendable.

I know parents who deprive themselves of realising their dreams, to keep their children in the teen trend rat race.  

I know people who cut the big ticket items, but indulge - maybe overindulge - in little 'treats' to keep themselves going: treats that probably add up to more than a couple of big treats taken over the course of a year.  "It's only $20," is an easy lie we tell ourselves.  Ten or twenty onlys later, we can find ourselves with a case of financial indigestion.

I know people who panic (or indulge their inner skinflint) using the current downturn as an excuse to squeeze the last drop out of the family budget.

This isn't to minimise those who are feeling real pain.  If someone in the family has been let go, then drastic action is called for, and some essentials may have to go, as well as any extras.  The mortgage will, of course, come first.  For most of us, that isn't the situation - yet.

It isn't the right social climate to brag about one's latest frivolous purchase, that is for sure. There isn't one right or a wrong answer to "what gets cut".  There is only what feels right to each of us.  I did find it useful to ask myself, "who do I want to be?  what do I want more of in my life? what do I want less of? what gives me real and lasting satisfaction?".

I've realised that learning new things - which includes music - keeps me happy and healthy.  So education expenses are the last things to be cut at my house.

I can do without so many little treats:  cake at cafés, icecreams, eyeshadows, dvds, etc.  I can eat more salad at home this summer.  (I can't possibly reduce my coffee intake, some things are just necessities.)

So before you, or someone you know, decides that music lessons are an "extra", ask yourself where music sits in your life.  It's about the value of what we are paying for, not just the price.