Last week, Mr O and I celebrated 20 years of marriage. Its something of a miracle, to us as much as others. Perhaps to us more than others, as no outsider really knows what goes on inside a marriage.
We still love each other, and we are still good friends. And yes, we still get grumpy with one another, and disagree from time to time too. We both look forward to the future together, and we haven't entirely run out of conversation. That feels like luck and a privilege rather than something to be smug about.
To get this far, we have learned that you can put up with a lot, if you don't give up the search for a mutual solution. It's not the compromise you reach just because you're too tired to argue anymore. A mutual solution is one you're both genuinely happy with. It's neither option A, nor option B, it is the elusive option C.
We've also learned you have to look after your own needs, as even a good marriage can't sustain being the consolation for an otherwise unhappy or unsatisfying life.
The good thing about surviving the bad times is you understand, from experience, that you can get through the bad times and the love remains. For better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and cherish until death part us.
No comments:
Post a Comment