A third way

For most of us, its a case of "my way or the high way" - at least as often as we can ensure our desired outcome. We'll compromise if we must, when the other person holds all the Aces, or because we've never been taught another way out of a deadlock.

When you're locked in a seemingly life-and-death struggle with someone you care about, always remember there may be a third way.

A third way is not a compromise, which I mistrust because sometimes half a loaf of something you don't actually want IS worse than nothing at all.

A third way is something else that satisfies both parties equally. So if, for example, one of you wants to watch Top Gear, and the other wants to watch NCIS, and neither will give an inch, then you might agree to go for a walk instead, or play Parcheesi or something.

A third way works when compromise won't. It's much harder because both people have to be honest about what will work, and both must be creative about finding a mutually satisfactory third way.

It's A win, rather than THE win. If your object is to crush your opponent, you won't see the point. You have to keep discussing options for longer than is necessary for compromise, so a third way works best when the stakes are high.

Wish me luck as I start work on a third way in the coming weeks.

This is post 59 of 100 posts in 100 days.

Sent from my iPhone