Risk Aversion in Our Kids

Out of control perfectionism is something I see from time to time.  The student who won't attempt a piece unless she is convinced she can play it perfectly.  Or the student who thinks something horrible will happen if he makes a mistake.

What I have noticed recently, is that most kids I meet aged between 5-10 suffer from this at the moment.  Perfectionism is part of the zeitgeist for this generation.  I really wonder why.  It would be convenient to blame the parents.  Or the schools.  Yeah, actually, I do blame the schools - a bit. Not individual teachers, but the school system.  Mostly, I think it's just "out there".  So we, as a society, are all contributing to that.

Let's do something about it.  I'm not in favour of celebrating mediocrity. I am in favour of celebrating real effort as well as achievement. I am in favour of encouraging our kids to experiment, to try again but maybe try something else.  I recently coined an aphorism:

It's more important to be able to make it right, than to get it right.

It's nice when we get it right, but we don't learn much.  We learn when we get it wrong, and we adapt, and then we get it right.  We learn the most, when we get it wrong, try something else, still get it wrong, try something different again, and then get it right.  

We own our own success when we have striven, we have the joy of the success, and the confidence that we can create success again.  We learn that failure is a tool that we can use, not a personal defect.  We learn that success is process more than an outcome.  We learn resilience.

I want that for our children.  I want that for myself.  I want that for our world.