Truth or joke?

I was reminded recently that children are very literal, on the whole.

Adults need to bear this in mind when teasing them - and often we don't. If a husband comments that his wife loves the dog more than she loves him, it's (probably) ironic, and we all laugh - the dog is far more biddable. If a child says his father loves the dog more than the son, he probably believes it is true, even if he is playing for laughs. If a father tells his daughter he loves the dog more than he loves here, she will, at some level, believe him. She'll believe it is a joke, but she'll still understand that it's true too.

Adult humour is often incomprehensible to anyone under, say, sixteen. In fact, many children can't tell whether we're joking because their fontal lobes aren't developed enough so they can 'read' people's faces. A lot of adult humour at children's expense relies on this.

Children are literal, on the whole, so be careful when you tease them, because they might believe you.

This is post 9 of 365 posts in 365 days.

Young kids are better at mimicry than following orders

Very young children are better at doing what we do, than they are at doing what we merely say.

Today I was at a shopping centre, and we stopped to have some dim sum for lunch. It was crowded, and a family of 3 (Mum, Dad & toddler) sat opposite. Mum wasn't eating, Dad had finished, and the toddler had a large half a sandwich before her, which she'd begun to ignore in favour of looking around. Mum and Dad were a bit bored, but patient, and didn't try to coax her into finishing (gold star for that).

I smiled at the toddler a couple of times, when our eyes met, and she smiled back. When Mr O returned from the queue with our food, she watched covertly as we began eating. Mr O is partial to a prawn dumpling, so he ate with evident enjoyment. I had chicken pie so I was happy too.

After perhaps 30 seconds, the toddler began to tackle her sandwich. Mum and Dad were delighted, but had no idea what had started her eating again.

It made me think how odd it must be to the child, when a parent sits them down and tries to feed them at what is self-evidently not an eating time.

I guess in the 'olden days' when it was the custom that children ate early and usually separate food as well, there was a Nanny present whom the children were used to obey. It was a different dynamic, and not one our society is keen to resume.

So, all things being equal*, if you want a small child to eat, the best thing to do is eat yourself.

*the child must be hungry, the food must be something they like or are prepared to try, and don't bother trying this in the middle of a tussle of wills!

This is post 38 of 100 posts in 100 days.

Kids tell the truth - as they see it

Kids tell the truth - as they see it. It may be a mistake reading adult meanings into that truth.

What do I mean? An acquaintance told me today that her six year old was giving her a lovely cuddle recently, when he said, "Fat is an easy word to spell, isn't it?"

I was once asked by a four year old student if I had a baby in my tummy, as it was a very big tummy. I blinked a couple of times and said, "No sweetheart, that's just lots of good dinners." At intervals in the next few minutes, other class members joined in and helpfully pointed out other places I could have a baby. When they were done, there was a short silence. The little girl who started it said, "Well, I could sit on your lap and you could put your sweater over me and I could be your baby..."

I thought their issue was my fat, but really they were worried about me not having a baby. Or they were very, very tactful and socially aware four year olds. You choose.

This is post 34 of 100 posts in 100 days.