Slip sliding away

Another week has got away from me. Time's wingéd chariot is not so much hurrying near as hurrying away. My to-do list has gone critical.

A good habit is a terrible thing to break. A blog, which is unpaid work - however enjoyable - suffers when Real Life ™ intervenes.

During the day, while working on other things, I have many profound and beautiful thoughts I'd like to share with you. Before I can write them down I'm distracted by something (else).  The less I write, the less easy the thoughts are to capture and pin down.

I console myself with the old adage:  don't speak unless you can improve the silence.

And I promise I won't be reduced to telling you what I had for breakfast, merely to have something to post about.

Habit forming

We find it so easy to form bad habits, and hard to kick them. We may forget that we can form positive and beneficial habits too. We can form habits that move us in the direction of our truest self.

My current blogging self-challenge is drawing to a close. I haven't missed a post this round - yet. With only 5 more posts after this, it's looking good for a 100% result.  Better still, it feels like a habit, now. Not exactly easy but going to work everyday isn't necessarily easy and yet somehow we manage it. In the end, going to work on a workday feels more normal than not. That's the very definition of a habit: it feels normal.

Another habit I'm forming is meditation. I'm being helped by an iphone app (also a website): getsomeheadspace, which was recommended to me by a wise acquaintance. It offers a free program called Take10 (also Take15 and Take20 for when I get that far).

I've been using the program for 10 days now. Unlike other guided meditations I've tried, I don't feel silly doing it. The instructions are clear and simple, it's secular and sensible.

I can't point to anything specific which has changed, but I feel better when I do it. If only because I've kept faith with my own good intention. Which is a good habit to get into.

This is post 38 of 43 posts.

Habituated

I want to take a moment to reflect on this challenge, now that I'm more than half way through.

Habits form themselves remarkably easily, it seems. At the start I expected to struggle with remembering to post: I set myself up reminders in my iPhone, and had a note I placed on my pillow so that if I tried to get into bed without posting, it would remind me before it was too late.

Reminders weren't necessary for long. Now I just seem to remember. The times I've run late have been due to outside circumstances, not 'couldn't be bothered'-ness, or it's passive-aggressive brother 'look, I forgot ok? I've been really busy... '.

When I began blogging a couple of years back, I struggled to write once per week. Now I have a list of topics on which I plan to be opinionated. On any given day, I usually add more topics than I write about. Which is a great comfort on days when I'm not feeling inspired. A number of writers have commented that if they turn up at the page, the muse tends to drift in around the same time.

Now I have to start thinking about what my next challenge will be, and what my reward will be for completing this one. This writing space is taking attention away from other writing projects. Maybe the next 100 days will be about being more succinct? or writing on set themes? If you have a topic on which you'd like me to hold forth, drop me a line. Until tomorrow, then.

This is post 51 of 100 posts in 100 days.

aberration or indication?

Everyday we observe and make assumptions based on those observations of the people around us. Consciously or unconsciously, we look for meaning in the actions or words of others, that give us clues to what they're like. We tell stories. Other people tell stories about us. Our social lives will be more harmonious if we remember this.

How much a particular action will affect our story comes from whether we think its an aberration (a departure from the person's usual behavour) or an indication (of what they're "really" like).

You're waiting for a bus and you've been watching person A across the street who's waiting for someone, showing signs of impatience (looking at their watch, turning to look up and down the street, shifting from foot to foot), you can't help but begin to have a story about what you see.

What's your story? Do you think person A is being impatient and should learn to relax? Do you think person A has had to wait before? Do you think the person they're waiting for is late?

As you watch, person B comes rushing up, out of breath and already apologising: "I'm so sorry! Traffic was dreadful! I really thought I'd be here before this!"

What story do you make now? What's going to happen next?

Person A sighs, and says (pointedly), "Ok, but I do have a phone you know. Couldn't you have rung?" At which Person B says, "Well, I didn't want to stop to use my mobile or I would have been even more late and that would have annoyed you too. I really couldn't help it, traffic you know..."

What story do you make now? If the lateness is a once-off (or at least a rare occurrence) person A will probably let go of their irritation. Bad traffic, it does happen. If the lateness is indicative of a laissez-faire approach to time-keeping, the proffered excuse is likely to annoy.

The next time you find yourself needing to apologise for a social faux pas, ask yourself: would the other person be likely to see this as an aberration or an indication? And grade your grovel accordingly.

This is post 43 of 100 posts in 100 days.

Time flies

So, I'm more than 1/4 of the way through this challenge. I meant to make a big deal out of 25 posts, but time flies when you're having fun and I missed it.

Four weeks ago today, I just decided to extract the digit, get my skates on and Just Do It. I guess I'll celebrate that milestone instead.

There are varying ideas of how long you have to do something for it to become a habit. Some experts say two weeks. Others say a couple of months. From my own experience, the past couple of days are in the 'dangerous complacency' phase.

I've used up the emergency stash of short posts I had on hand for when inspiration failed. Haven't yet come up with more.

I no longer have the urgency to post as soon as I come home so I don't forget - I'm confident I won't forget. Over-confident, in fact: last night I was getting into bed when I remembered I hadn't posted!

Four weeks is a long time even though it's really no time at all. As a music teacher, I found dailyness could become the enemy. Familiarity does seem to breed contempt, at least it can turn something joyful and special into same-old same-old. You would think a positive experience would get richer with each iteration - and it can, if we let it.

Little rituals can keep us alive to what is happening each day. That's one of the ways the 100 days challenge is working for me. Because time flies fastest when we're not paying enough attention.

This is post 28 of 100 posts