It's a good idea to practice successfully being alone, being independent. It's a skill like any other, and needs to be used to be kept up. As a middle-aged woman, I've begun to notice that I seldom go out alone at night, and less and less do I make decisions in isolation. It's a short step from seldom doing something to never doing it, to it becoming unthinkable to do it.
It's one thing to consciously choose to stop doing something: overspending, overdrinking, overeating, overpleasing, etc. It's another to allow a capacity to accidentally slip into disuse.
For many people in their 30s, 40s & 50s, life becomes very full of people: partners, parents, children, friends, colleagues, etc. We may (sometimes) yearn for a bit of 'alone time' but we're fairly bad at putting it to use.
When we're out of practice at being alone, we become lonely after a short while alone. We want someone to react to, so we don't have to think up actions for ourselves. This often makes itself felt if we go on holiday where we don't have our usual duties and responsibilities to fill the time. There you are, on the beach, in the sunshine, and feeling...well... a bit bored... (Boredom is often the more socially acceptable, ego-friendly face of loneliness.)
If you haven't been alone for a while, start with a small but significant block of time - say, two hours. (It doesn't count as 'alone' if you surf the internet or talk on the phone, by the way.) Part of being alone is learning to entertain yourself without the pabulum of modern media. At some point you may feel bored, lonely or even irritated, but after a while it begins to feel more normal.
Who knows, you may even like it.
This is post 14 of 365 posts in 365 days.
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