Recently I posted about goodwill and acknowledgement. Today I've begun reading Just Listen by Mark Goulston. It turns out there may be a biological basis for our craving for acknowledgement:
You cringe when a coworker gets a paper cut and cheer when the movie hero gets the girl. That's because, for an instant, it's just as if these events are happening to you - and, in a way, they are.Years ago, scientists studying specific nervecells in macaque monkeys' prefontal cortices found that the cells fired when the monkeys threw a ball or ate a banana. But here's the surprise: these same cells fired when the monkeys watched another monkey performing these acts.... (H)umans, just like macaques, have neurons that act as mirrors. In fact, studies suggest these remarkable cells may form the basis for human empathy....My theory, which my clinical findings support, is that we constantly mirror the world, conforming to its needs, trying to win its love and approval. And each time we mirror the world, it creates a little reciprocal hunger to be mirrored back. If that hunger isn't filled, we develop what I refer to as "mirror neuron receptor defecit".In today's world, it's easy to imagine that defecit growing into a deep ache. Many of the people I work with - from CEOs and managers to unhappy spouses to clinically depressed patients - feel that they give their best, only to be met day after day with apathy, hostility, or (possibly worst of all) no response at all. In my belief, this defecit explains why we feel so overwhelmed when someone acknowledges either our pain or our triumphs. (pp.18-19)
This is post 29 of 100 posts in 100 days.
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