Not quite right

Do you get twitchy when something isn't quite right? We have a picture that we hung so it's not quite centred on the wall. We measured it up so the numbers matched, but it's clearly not quite right. I'm sitting opposite it as I write this, and it's hard to tear my awareness away.

What about clothes? Do you have clothes that are bit itchy? tight? baggy? Even if you're not aware of what's wrong, they're the items that sit in the wardrobe until the day when everything else is in the wash or you're so desperate to wear 'something different' that you give them a whirl - only to discover why they were sitting pristine after two years in the first place, it's because they're just not quite right.

What about people in your life? Do you have acquaintances who have never - quite - ripened into friends? We all have people we'd love to reconnect with in our lives, they're the friends we see after an absence and everything falls into place again. There are also friends who we keep 'meaning' to get in touch with, but when we do we (maybe) quietly wonder why we bothered. They're not bad, we still like them, they're just... not quite the friends they once were or we thought they were...

We even have it in our bodies. The day before you become sick, have you ever felt 'a bit off' - nothing specific, just... not quite right? A medical friend once told me that many people discover they have cancer when they go to the doctor complaining that 'something's wrong and I may be imagining it, but I'm just not quite right.'

For years I ignored - and was encouraged to ignore - such subtle signs of mis-fit. It was precious and unrealistic or just plain lacking in gratitude to worry about some weird idea of perfection, when I should be grateful for what I had. These days, being middle-aged as well as opinionated, I've learned to go with it. Maybe I can or can't work out what exactly is not - quite - right, but either way I'm more likely to back my own judgement. Whether I'm right or wrong, I'm more comfortable. And I'll be re-hanging that picture too.

This is post 32 of 100 posts in 100 days.