Monday, April 18, 2011

Love language translation errors

We feel sad - and unappreciated - if those around us do not notice the small tasks we do for them. Perhaps we tidy the kitchen bench. Perhaps we make more than our share of cups of tea. Perhaps we always put the garbage out. Perhaps we watch a film in which we have little interest. I recently had an instance where my little expression of love was ignored or at least not recognized for what it was. These are examples of translation errors in our love languages.

Which started me thinking. More important than my 'love tasks' being noticed is to notice and appreciate those others do for me. I wonder what I am missing? I do notice some things, but probably not all.

The difficulty of having different 'love languages' is this type of obliviousness. I'm carefully giving you space and not mauling you when you are tired, but perhaps you're craving a cuddle. Restraint may be one of the hardest love gifts to appreciate because it is invisible when done well.

Or I might think you put the garbage out because you share my ideals of equitable distribution of domestic tasks, and thus fail to see it as the example of cherishing you perceive it to be.

If only we recognized all the loving things done to and for us as they were intended by the giver: the world would be a more peaceful place, and we would each feel more appreciated too.

Sent from my iPhone

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